Real appreciation helps create a positive work environment
The skill of giving sincere, effective compliments is part art and part science. It takes practice to make a habit of expressing apprecation. An appreciation focus creates a more positive work environment.
A well phrased, specific, sincere compliment can improve someone’s day and it can reflect well on you. There is more to excelling in compliment giving than simply avoiding phrases like, "For a fat man you don’t sweat much."
Mark Knapp, University of Texas communications professor, found that powerful people like "the boss" get the fewest compliments. Providing a sincere compliment to the powerful person may cause them to over estimate your IQ.
Compliments can be divided into three subject types: (1) appearance or possessions, (2) actions, and (3) character qualities. The rarest and often most highly valued are compliments regarding character or personal attributes. Warning: When any sincere compliment comes your way, don’t blow it. Accept a sincere compliment as you would a gift from your mother. If your mother gave you a colorfully wrapped birthday gift, you wouldn’t toss it unopened in her face. Don’t toss back the gift of a sincere compliment. Follow these steps: (1) make eye contact, (2) smile, and (3) sincerely thank your verbal gift giver.
Positive Work Enviroment Level Three Compliment
Complimenting Appearance or PossessionsThis is the most common type of compliment. "Your sweater looks beautiful." "I like your motorcycle."
The person wearing their compliment shoes usually chooses general words like "nice" or "good." Research shows that general words are used over 40% of the time. American men give and receive fewer compliments than women in this area. Two ways to make the appearance compliment more effective are to use better adjectives and to personalize the appearance.
"Nice shirt" can be turned into, "That blue shirt is just the right color for you, Ed. It’s perfect with your eyes." You may find Ed putting this shirt on every time it comes back from the cleaners.
Positive Work Enviroment Level Two Compliment
The second most frequent compliment form addresses someone’s actions or skills.
"Great shot," is the form most male action compliments take.
"Excellent presentation to the board, boss," would be the better choice.
The rarest and most memorable of compliments is sincere praise of character. This is where the art and skill blend. Character compliments require taking the time and thought to notice the "real person". You are complimenting the person who inhabits the skin, wears the clothes, and can sink a putt from the far edge of the green.
"I was impressed by the compassionate way you handled the (explain) situation, Mother Theresa."
"Your kindness to the new employee set an example for all of us, George."
I appreciate your insightful reading of this article and your leadership in practicing these skills on the next person you encounter.
Source: Kamaron Institute
(c) 2005-2009 , Margaret Ross, All rights reserved. May not be copied, or sent electronically